Alive.

Don't want to be.
As you can tell.
Went back to school for the first time today.
FUN.
I have so much work to do.
I'm on antidepressants.
Lexapro.
They make me never want to eat.
I ate once today.
Feel fat as fuck.
Not going to throw up.
Don't have the energy.
Tired.
Shakey.
It's freaky how bad my hands shake because of these meds.
Guess who hasn't bothered to give me a call?
Did you really think he would Rachie poo?
No.
Maybe.
I was hoping.
Now I just want to do it all over again.
Sad isn't it?
And no one noticed.
I could be dead.
No one noticed.
Or cared.
My wrist is pretty.
Not as pretty as it was.
I want to rip it open again.
Not like dad checks it.
Maybe I'll just pull the scab off.
Funny if it would have been a millimeter over and a wee bit deeper I would have bled out.
Dead two times over.
Liver almost failed.
Would have if I'd been maybe fifteen minutes later.
I hate being me.
Even after a few good days of being surrounded by people who feel the same I still can't feel completely okay.
Maybe it's side effects of the meds.
Maybe I should tell someone.
HA.
Right.
<3 stay strong lovies and don't get your hopes up
CHEERS