I miss it.

That normalness.
Being able to laugh effortlessly.
Eating without a care in the world.
I miss being able to feel sad but not needing the comfort of a blade to feel better.
I miss being able to go out with people and not worry about the stares and constant anxiety.
I miss feeling like everything is okay.
I miss being around my family and not having to constantly watch what I think and say.
I miss not having flashbacks.
I miss not being disgusted with my reflection.
I miss everything about the old me.
How much I used to care.
How I used to be able to just be me.
No voices screaming in my head.
How I never used to disappoint people like this.
I miss not being so fucked up in the head.
I'm so fucking sick.
I hate being me.