131.6lbs

I saw this number on the scale.
I'm getting closer and closer.
I'm so close to the 120's.
I remember when I was hoping for the 150's.
And every cell in my body tingles in anticipation for the 110's.
And the 100's.
And the 90's.
I've been losing weight so quickly.
I love it.
And I haven't been weighed at the doctors in so long.
It's going to kill me when I get there because the morning of I'm going to have to water load like crazy.
I will also wear like five t-shirts underneath a hoodie and claim I'm not wearing anything under it.
I am so scared for when that day comes.
It's in a few weeks.
And this weekend is a terrifying thought.
Samantha and Mom are going to make me eat so much.
I'm so terrified.
I have to get to the 120's this week.
I need to get there before they make me eat.
I know when they see me I'm going to get yelled at.
I just know it.
I'm so scared.
I don't want to eat.
I'm three days clean from cutting.
I don't want her to see my cuts.
I'm so terrified that she's going to make me pull up my sleeves.
I'm scared of everything.
<3 stay strong
CHEERS