Sunday, July 31, 2011


Is getting tiresome.
I'm starting to feel like I'm talking to no one.
Like I'm nothing.
Like people just got tired of me(friends included) because I'm boring and complain too much.
I feel like everyone has gotten tired of me.
I feel like I'm one of those counted in everyone.
And whenever I say I'm tired of being me I get the same goddamn answer.
"Then change yourself."
Well Einstein hadn't fucking thought of that.
Hmm well asshole why don't YOU try changing yourself.
Try being someone you like.
Try not thinking things you always have for sixteen soon to be seventeen years of your fucking life because apparently it's that simple.
And somehow I still don't like myself.
"What are you doing to change it?"
"Only you can change Rachael"
Yeah well go fuck yourself.
You know what I'm doing?
I'm smoking.
I'm attempting to starve myself.
I'm resolving to kill myself,
I bet THAT is my answer!!!
If I'm dead then who the fuck cares who I was?
Exactly my thoughts people.
I'm bitter and lonely.
Somethings just never fucking change do they?
People do all the time, but not reliable old Rachael.
No she's still a fucking push over.
GO ahead walk all over her.
Ha worse that could happen is she kills herself and that's not so bad.
Wouldn't be much of a waste she seemed kinda dreary and empty don't you think?
Me too.
Stay strong <3
CHEERS to those of you who actually read this bullshit.