Thursday, August 29, 2013

Lately I've begun to realize how insignificant I am.
It's a strange thing to feel so useless.
There's this part of me that still hopes I could be the person I have always wished to be.
So I keep standing here contemplating moving forward but still rooted to this spot.
My muscles are deteriorating and my legs will give out before I can even begin to imagine a better life.

There is a certain degree of shock that comes with being told that no one wants you.
Almost like you never believed everything you told yourself in the first place.
Worthless takes on a new meaning when it sits on someone else's lips.
Because maybe you knew you'd never live up to your own expectations but there was always someone; at least one person, who could make you feel like your life had meaning.
Everywhere you turn though it seems all you can hear is everything you've ever told yourself but this time in foreign voices.
These were supposed to be the people that love you but now you suddenly don't recognize them; their faces twisted in disgust.
In pity.
So you start to feel like you never meant anything.
You were never wanted.
And your parents fight over who has to deal with you this time because maybe you're just too much of a hassle.
But I guess the real question here:
Is what am I supposed to do now that I know they never cared.