Monday, October 14, 2013


Everyone is going to leave me.
All the people that I used to be friends with here left for college and got on with their lives.
They stopped caring because they had better things to care about.
Now I feel like the people I have no are going to forget about me too.
It's a really small group of people but I thought if I only had a few friends they'd be less likely to leave me.
They are all getting older and closer and closer to their graduations and they are going to go off to some big university and forget about me.
And I'll just be sitting here.
Rotting away in my bedroom wishing someone could save me or kill me.
I'm never going to get to college.
All the things I wanted to do in my life are never going to happen.
Mostly because I don't think I'll ever have the courage to actually accomplish anything.
Especially if the things I want to do are for myself.
I spend ten years getting better and worse better worse betterish then so much worse again.
There is no college for me.
No art school will ever take me.
I might as well just die because I'm never going to be the person I want to be.
But I'm not even good at dying.
So I'll just sit here and wait for my body to give up on its own accord.
And as I sit here I'll watch them leave.
They always leave.