Julia keeps posting these 'things I hate because of you' posts on facebook. I know they're directed towards me. She hates french music and her birthday. We have the same birthday and I'm in love with french music. Thanks ever so much sweetheart, it's not like I don't hate myself enough already why don't you go ahead and add gasoline to that fire?
I feel worthless. Litterally. I say that I'm going to try to want to get out of bed and actually live but what the fuck is the use? Why? I could make an attempt at being social and pleasant but it doesn't make a difference because I am me. I always put on a fake smile and pretend. No one knows the 'real' me and when a few drops of me leak out people turn their backs. I'm the reason I have no friends. I'm the reason I'm only in relationships for a few weeks to a few short months. I don't even bother to ask whats wrong with me anymore because I already know. I am me. I don't have to try anymore and I can make an entire group of people run the other way. I can clear a room because no one wants to be near me anymore. Not even the people who say they are my friends here. The only people who want to be near me only want to use me for their own benifit. Not that they get much from it.
I'm tired. So tired. I'm tired of living.
Stay strong
CHEERS
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