Thursday, October 11, 2012

What the fuck was I thinking I can't do this.
What if they don't admit me because I'm not mentally unstable enough to meet their criteria?
What if the other patients think I'm just full of shit?
What if I go there and I hate it and still have to stay for a month?
What if I go there and they keep me longer than a month?
What if I get diagnosed with an eating disorder?
They will take it away from me and force me to eat and I can't handle this.
What if I don't want to get better what if I'd rather die?
Why did I ask for help?
I'm such a fucking idiot I can't do this I don't need help.
I don't deserve help I think I'm going to cut every inch of my skin.
I'm fucking done I can't deal with this shit.

2 comments:

  1. Everyone deserves help. There's a complete different 'you' waiting for you. You can be healthy and happy. Trust me, I know, I've gone through this. I was strong enough to get back on the track on my own and it's a decision I'll never regret. Things can be different, things can be better!
    Take care.

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  2. Girl, I literally have the same anxiety everytime I walk into my shrinks office, but let me tell you something. You have made the hardest decision that any of us could ever make and now all you have to do is sit back and let yourself heal. Stick to your decision, it may be scary, but think of everything you have gone through until this point to actually ask for help. Think about the bad and how badly we all want things to get better. You are doing this, and you CAN do this. And we are here to give you support so that you can get through it. And if they are shit then they are shit. But going through treatment is only going to help you. Take a breathe and put one foot in front of the other. You are strong. You can do this. Xo

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