Tuesday, February 4, 2014

I'm still debating on trying to kill myself tomorrow.
Everyone would be angry considering my IOP therapist tried to have me evaluated for inpatient today.
For about four hours I sat in the ER telling everyone I was fine no they didn't have to worry nothing is wrong.
All I really want to do is overdose on oxy or percocets.
I would even take heroin at this point but I'm pretty sure the only person I could get it from would flip his fucking shit if I told him that.
My Dad is fed up with me and is searching for mental health residential inpatient treatment centers.
He doesn't want me here anymore and it's gotten to the point that he wants to kick me out.
Mom isn't really too happy with me either.
Not that I blame them I've been quite fucking awful as of late.
I'm just getting worse.
My weight is somewhere between 126-138 but I haven't weighed myself in a while.
I don't really want to I'm afraid I'm just going to get more upset with myself.
Everything just kind of went to shit and I don't have the energy to try anymore.
Tired and fucked up.
Don't want to be me anymore.

1 comment:

  1. This breaks my heart to read my dear. I'm begging you not to go through with it. Please reach out. Please let me help you. Only if it means just talking to you. I've been trying for so long to help you. I'm here, just an email away. holdensmommy89@gmail.com
    XOXO

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