Samantha is coming to visit me.
I haven't seen her in so long and all i want to do is hug her.
I know as soon as I see her I'm going to bawl like a fucking baby.
She's my best friend in the whole fucking universe.
I have to be good.
I'm going to make sure I dress up and I look good.
I have to hide my arms.
And legs.
And I have to eat.
God my stomach feels sick right now just thinking about it.
I ate breakfast this morning.
Homemade banana bread which was fucking godly.
And a small cup of blackberries.
I'll eat a yogurt later.
I like restricting.
I like empty.
I feel good.
I stayed up until 10:30 am today.
I had a mental break down.
I don't think I cried that hard since Kelsey left.
I had tears running down my face.
That doesn't happen.
I just don't want to be me anymore.
I am so sick.
There is just so much wrong with me.
I don't even know what it is anymore.
I just know that my head isn't right.
And Kelsey.
She is happy.
And even if she isn't she has the strength to pull through and go on with her life.
Why am I just so stuck?
I hate this feeling.
I wonder if people don't know how to unfollow or if they got tired of reading.
Well okay.
To that one person who checks my blog everyday:
I think I love you.
Marry me?
I'll get you an elephant and you can name it whatever you want.
It'll be able to fly.
Because magic is REAL.
Okay I'm done.
<3 stay strong my lovely.
CHEERS
I listen. I'm sure many others do as well :). I know it doesn't always seem like people are listening, but trust me we are. I'll be here, maybe not every day, and sometimes I may disappear for a few weeks, and I may not talk much, but i'll always be back. Stay strong <3
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