Crusty hair

I'm ruining my life.
With every night I spend with my head down the toilet I get worse.
Eating makes me feel repulsive.
I can't take eating.
I can't take much anymore to be honest.
I can't take loud noises.
I can't take people.
I can't take complete darkness.
I can't handle being yelled at.
I absolutely cannot handle being touched in any way.
Touch me lovingly and I will break down because I do not deserve hugs.
Touch me violently and I will shut down.
I won't be able to breathe.
My world will collapse.
I cannot handle school or school work.
There are too many people with too many opinions and not enough pills or razor blades to make them leave me be.
There is too much responsibility and it makes me want to die.
Everything makes me want to die.
I don't know how to live anymore.
If I ever really did.