Falling apart

I gained weight and I can physically see it.
Dad insists that I lost weight but he doesn't know anything.
Went into to the ER again yesterday because I got really confused and my heart hurt.
They found nothing wrong with me of course.
So I looked like one of those pathetic kids that asks for medical help to get attention from their parents.
Not that it would matter they wrote off my physical symptoms convinced that this was a mental health issue.
But maybe they were right to think that.
After all I'm healthy so how could there be anything actually wrong with me?
I've decided to stop asking for help.
For the passed couple of weeks I had been asking dad to find me a therapist.
Not anymore.
Over the last few days I've been eating more because the pain meds for my kidney stone need to be taken with food.
Guess what I stopped taking.
I'm pretty much through with trying to get better and I've decided if no one will believe me now then its obvious I have to get worse.
I'm also done telling the people close to me things.
Sure of course I'll still tell Lukas but Samantha and Will don't need to know anymore.
Don't remember if I mentioned Will but right now that's not important.
Eventually I'd like to get better.
Recovery and all that wonderful happy bullshit.
I fail to see how that will work unless people actually believe there is a problem.
But people never believe anything they can't see so I guess it's time I got visibly ill.
Only took me eight years.