138.8lbs.
But for some reason I'm not happy.
I can't see it.
I want drugs.
I want cocaine.
Or meth.
It's cheaper and effects your weight more.
Has anyone noticed this has nothing to do with my appearance anymore?
I don't give a fuck what I look like.
I just want to die.
That's how fucking desperate I am.
I hope this eats me alive.
I'm going to shower.
Cut the fuck out of my arms.
Smoke a cigarette.
And then burn myself.
There goes a month burn free.
Oops.
Do I give a fuck?
No.
I really don't.
Am I getting better Mr. Therapist at Php?
No I'm not.
Are you wasting your time?
Yes. All of you are.
This is a chemical imbalance mother so I'm not going to take the stupid fucking test you sent me.
This is me.
Wanting to die.
Ripping my skin open.
Starving myself.
Taking pills because that's what I do.
That's how I cope.
Sorry you have such a fuck up for a daughter.
But maybe one of these days you just have to open your fucking eyes and except that you have a suicidal piece of shit as a daughter.
Sorry to disappoint.
<3 stay strong
CHEERS
P.S.
Alone in the house with Sam. Lovely. This will be a fun day. Yay flashbacks.
Dude, just don't do meth. Cocaine is one thing. Meth is for povos. And that you are not. Bad shit happens, but unless it's death - don't do anything you can't fix at a later stage. You are not a piece of shit. Ever. Xo
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