Cold

It's snowing again.
My fingers feel like ice.
I feel sort of sluggish today.
My head is full of icy water.
It's heavy.
My thinking isn't clear.
I keep seeing things that aren't there.
Flashbacks are killing me.
I had a nightmare I've never had before last night.
I hate being touched.
I can't stand it.
I woke up shaking.
I couldn't breathe.
My skin was crawling.
I wanted to rip it off but there were too many people around this morning.
I ate too much.
160 calories.
No fat.
I feel like I've ballooned.
I need a cigarette.
I've been watching Black Swan.
I love her body.
But all these sex scenes make me feel disgusting.
I think I'll make coffee.
I mean it's just more calories but the caffeine will kill my hunger pains and boost my metabolism.
And it'll only be thirty five or so calories.
No fat.
I feel terrified of food today.
This doesn't really happen all that often.
Fuck.
I'm just going to go make coffee.
And stay away from my brother.
And just people in general.
<3 Stay strong
CHEERS