135.4

My tummy was pretty this morning.
I couldn't get over it.
I stared at it in the mirror for a good half hour and because of it I was late for therapy.
oops.
All of the jeans that didn't fit me now fit.
I went from wearing all sweat pants to having like seven pairs of decent jeans.
And they get baggier every day.
I love the feeling of being empty.
I love having a stomach that doesn't want to have anything in it.
I ate too much today.
But when I hit my limit I knew it.
I didn't even eat 500 calories.
I'm getting back to that sick phase and I'm loving every minute of it.
I love the feeling of dizziness I get when I walk.
I love how hard it is for me to get out of bed because I have no energy.
I can't wait until I start getting the muscle cramps again.
I've already started getting the nightmares.
Gaining weight at rapid paces.
Nonstop eating in hellish cafeterias while people stare at me.
Drowning in food.
Standing naked in the middle of a room while people laugh and point out my flaws.
These while being complete terrifying are a sign that means I'm losing.
I only have nightmares when I get really sick.
Last time I got nightmares was when I was 116lbs.
God I miss that.
Dad keeps saying I'm disappearing.
You're right Dad I plan on it.
POOF.
Gone.
I plan to weigh a lot less by this time next month.
Samantha wants me to go to her prom.
No way am I getting into a dress looking like this.

In other news:
I got seen.
Yay.
I was at this smoothie place with my brother and two people from my English class saw me. Lovely.
One of them was this girl and it was really awkward because I was twitching really bad and she didn't know what to say.
The other was this kid named Mike and he's so loveable <3
He gives the best hugs and he is such a sweetheart.
Okay.
I'm done.
stay strong <3 br="">CHEERS