Purging

Does something to you.
It does something to your face; your eyes in particular.
It makes them look older.
It adds years and years onto them.
In what will seem like minutes.
It's been two weeks since my big purge fest began.
I've always purged but
it's begun to take on a life of its own.
And now.
My eyes have these rings around them.
Like yellowing bruises.
And a tiredness that wasn't there before.
Something that only hours with your finger shoved down to the back of your throat can bring about.
Its a feeling of deadness.
Of emptiness.
A hollow feeling that you can't quite grasp until you've felt the ache of your teeth after a good dousing with stomach acid.
You won't ever know this felling unless you know what it's like to purge.
It's the feeling of exhaustion.
The feeling of giving up.
The feeling of I don't want to fight anymore.