The people around me think that the worst I'd do to myself is cut or skip a meal.
But see there is so much more.
I've heard the horror stories about drugs and I've seen what they can do to people.
They get so desperate they'd do anything for their fix.
And
it does nothing.
I don't care.
I'd throw my entire life away in hopes of an "accidental" overdose.
It's not even an innocent curiosity but complete malicious intent.
The things I would subject myself to; no one can even imagine.
And my loved ones would be devastated if they could take a look at what goes on in my head.
For the longest time I had a thing for a druggie and actually knew a hardcore dealer.
I could probably still get back in contact with both.
Those connections have more to do with the people my brothers know.
It's a small world, really it is.
But I'm supposed to be the good daughter right?
Just a LITTLE fucked in the head nothing a good dose of Zoloft and a bit of therapy won't cure, right?
Right.
Anyways.
Trainspotting is waiting for me on putlocker so
bye bye lovies
stay strong okay?
Don't be a fuck up like me c;
i will just say one thing, beautiful: you are stronger than you think you are. stunning and i've read your story from beginning to end, and it breaks my heart to see something so beautiful with such sad little thoughts. mad. they'd call us mad. but we're all the same, somehow, except not.
ReplyDeleteyou dazzle me with words and i hope to paint you the sweetest shade of lilac to make you happy.
if we'd have stayed strong, we wouldn't be here i suppose, lovely, but the sentiment is sweet.
take care. my words might not mean anything at all.
Rach, if anything, you're beautiful to us. beautiful words, except their meanings are dark and painful to begin with. i can tell you that life is there for us to live, but it's futile and pointless. you might not want to hear them so i won't say them at all.
here's to you, Rach.
you deserve so much more than what you've been subjected to.
i believe that this makes no sense, but it might be because i'm so effected that i can't help but feel the need to tell you so.
-Sam Lupin
PS. Rachael Resnick? -from your email- have you watched the Machinist? Christian Bale's emaciated in that movie and his name is Trevor Resnick. just thought to comment on so. x
i always think that it is dead amusing trying to see yourself through other peoples eyes, and think if only they knew what your head was like... I always thought it would be a beetljuice moment where everything would fuck out and they'd be super confused, scared and never be the same. I'm rambling and making weird analogies. But you're strong and I admire that. Xo
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