I will keep the bad things from you.

Well I'm lonely like you're lonely but only cause it's thrown me like it's thrown you I don't own you, and my darling you don't own me. It's kicking and it's yelling and it's bruising and it's swelling. But the writing is on the wall and we both know what it's been telling us to do. Well I'm crying and you're crying into silent salty lakes. The road has turned to ice and we haven't any breaks, so while the wall keeps getting closer I fear it's too late not to break our hearts.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Cut yourself until you bleed

I am discontinuing my therapy.
When I turn 18 on Sunday I am not legally obligated to follow through with any treatment.
Seeing as my parents can now only suggest things; such as going back on Zoloft, I do not have to follow their instruction.
Really I'm just scared and tired.
I'm scared of dying and terrified of living.
I'm tired of not getting help and feeling like I'm not worth that help.
I'm tired of people ignoring me when i tell them how I feel.
I'm tired of feeling like such shit always.
I've been suffering from disordered eating for seven years and not a fucking person has actually noticed.
I am not disordered enough to get a diagnosis and I'm so done.
I'm done with not being able to do anything.

1 comment:

Olivia LeeOctober 18, 2012 at 4:40 PM
I think you absolutely have a diagnosis. You can also be placed in facilities if people believe you are a danger to yourself and others. Which you absolutely are.
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