One.
In about twenty minutes I'm saying fuck it and going the fuck to sleep
Today fucking sucks.
I hate that I twitch.
I hate how fat and disgusting I am.
I hate me.
I hate everything about me.
I wish I could just find my fucking pills and take them.
I promised I wouldn't.
Lukas said he'd kill me.
Fuck.
<3 stay strong.
CHEERS
P.S.
Stay strong took on a whole new meaning after the third suicide attempt now it means don't try and kill yourself. Don't take all those fucking pills. Don't try and slit your wrists open. Don't try and hang yourself. Don't try and jump in front of moving cars. No jumping off buildings. I don't have a gun but if I did it would be no blowing my fucking brains out. Dear god if I had a gun I'd be dead by now. Fuck. God I wish I had a gun.
Ahhh Rachel :( I don't know how to communicate to you (without saying "stay strong") that I understand exactly what you are going through. Don't drive into ditches, or speed into sharp looking objects, don't throw the hairdryer into the bath, don't plan the time location situation. Don't consider carefully who it is that you want to find you. don't think about what your final thoughts would be. Or whether you should be considerate and lie in the bath so that you don't bleed all over his sofa, don't wonder if you will be missed, or mourned. Don't wonder how the best way to do it, the quickest, the most foolproof. Please mail me. The only thing you need to do right now is to know that staying strong means knowing it's okay to ask for help. Always here for you. zerointentions@yahoo.com Xo
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