Today at 3 I have a therapy session.
I decided really early on what I'm going to wear so to save me the five hour process of trying on everything I own and having a panic attack.
If I feel okay about myself later then I might post a picture because the outfit is really cute.
I'm wearing grey tights under my black skull cutout leggings with a pair of light blue jean shorts over top.
And I'm wearing a really cute over sized yellow cardigan and my grey and black scarf.
Going to do my hair and make up and everything.
I always dress up for my therapy sessions.
The only one I didn't dress up for was the first one and even then I wasn't wearing sweat pants and I had my make up on.
She hasn't seen me at my worst yet.
Today isn't really a good day though so despite my dressing up maybe she'll notice how awful I feel.
I'm giving her a few of my blog urls and showing her some of my art work.
She seems really interested in my art and what I'm going to be studying so hopefully I'll get positive feedback.
I'm really anxious about college and my future though so i really want to have a serious talk about anxiety today.
Over the break I'm going to see if I can lose enough weight to be taken more seriously about my eating disorder.
So by the time I get back I can start seeing the psychiatrist she wants me to see that specializes in eating disorders.
Maybe I can start taking something for this horrible anxiety then and if I'm lucky go into inpatient for my eating disorder.
I sincerely doubt it though.
My thoughts are all jumbled right now and this is really poorly written.
I took some oxy this morning to help calm me down and I'm still debating on whether or not I should take more later.
I haven't told my therapist about the oxy abuse though so I probably shouldn't.
More later maybe?
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